This morning I had to drive in to work all the way from Norfolk, Virginia. Without traffic, it's about an hour and a half. WITH traffic about two. I was in Newport News, about halfway, when I got stuck behind a Lincoln Town Car.
My Grandma Honey was a notoriously bad driver. She drove ridiculously slow and was so short she could barely see over the wheel anyway. Once, she even pulled out of the mall parking lot onto the sidewalk! (That scared my little sister and I to death! We were about 12 and 13 at the time.) Her vehicle of choice was always a Lincoln Town Car, replaced every few years.
I could feel my blood begin to boil the longer I was stuck behind the Lincoln Town Car on the busy interstate this morning. This idiot was going to make late for work! Hello! Go the speed limit at the very LEAST! My Grandma, now gone for nine years, was the furthest thing from my mind. (Can it REALLY be nine years?)
Something told me to take a closer look at the car in front of me. That's when I noticed the license plate on the vehicle. It read GMA HUNNY. No. Freaking. Way.
I started to laugh and cry right there in the middle of rush hour. Grandma, still finding ways to rein back down to earth, all the way from Heaven.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
I'm the birthday girl!
Today I turn 28 years old. For real... I am really that old. Wasn't I just a carefree kid? Wasn't the prom just a few months ago? There is no way it has been almost TEN years since I graduated high school. It's just not possible.
It's not possible, yet it is so. In ten years, I have lived in FOUR states, graduated high school, graduated college, been married, been divorced, been married again, held a number of jobs, given birth twice, and become a stepmother to three. Wow! All of that in ONLY ten years? I guess it really IS possible.
I have to say I am proud of who I am today. Maybe that's prideful or narcissistic, but it's true. For someone my age, I have been through a lot, and I have achieved in spite of it. I have ambitions, and I intend to achieve even more. I love my family wholly and fiercely and I make sure that they know it.
Everything I am, everything I have been able to overcome, I owe to a few special people in my life. First and foremost are my parents. They are the most amazing people I know. I will never be able to put into words how much I love them and what they mean to me. Same goes for my little sister, who is my best friend in the whole world. Then, there are my children, who make me smile every day, and my stepchildren, who have shown me that unconditional love can exist outside the traditional family. My husband is my supporter, my rock, who lifts me up and shows me that I can do anything I want and helps me make the most of my time on this planet.
Finally, there are two ladies who had much influence on me growing up. They were Ruth "Polish" Randall and Allene "Grandma Honey" Riffe. Two strong, independent women who loved everyone, taught many and had an unlikely friendship for 40 years. Their love for me was so strong that I still feel it today, years after they have both passed on, and it gives me much strength.
Yes, it is a good birthday, a day to celebrate my incredibly blessed life.
It's not possible, yet it is so. In ten years, I have lived in FOUR states, graduated high school, graduated college, been married, been divorced, been married again, held a number of jobs, given birth twice, and become a stepmother to three. Wow! All of that in ONLY ten years? I guess it really IS possible.
I have to say I am proud of who I am today. Maybe that's prideful or narcissistic, but it's true. For someone my age, I have been through a lot, and I have achieved in spite of it. I have ambitions, and I intend to achieve even more. I love my family wholly and fiercely and I make sure that they know it.
Everything I am, everything I have been able to overcome, I owe to a few special people in my life. First and foremost are my parents. They are the most amazing people I know. I will never be able to put into words how much I love them and what they mean to me. Same goes for my little sister, who is my best friend in the whole world. Then, there are my children, who make me smile every day, and my stepchildren, who have shown me that unconditional love can exist outside the traditional family. My husband is my supporter, my rock, who lifts me up and shows me that I can do anything I want and helps me make the most of my time on this planet.
Finally, there are two ladies who had much influence on me growing up. They were Ruth "Polish" Randall and Allene "Grandma Honey" Riffe. Two strong, independent women who loved everyone, taught many and had an unlikely friendship for 40 years. Their love for me was so strong that I still feel it today, years after they have both passed on, and it gives me much strength.
Yes, it is a good birthday, a day to celebrate my incredibly blessed life.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Election Day!
For as long as I can remember, I have cared about politics. In 1988, I followed the Bush and Dukakis race and watched it played out right at home, where on of my parents was fervently for Dukakis and the other for Bush. I was not even 8 years old during the election, and had just turned 8 on Election Day. That January, I begged to stay home from school on Inauguration Day to watch the ceremonies on television.
In 1992, I watched even more closely, as history played out. For the first time, there was a major third party candidate. In the past four years we'd had a war and an economic downturn. Victory for the incumbent was not a guarantee. Bill Clinton defeated George Bush and Ross Perot to become president. In 1996, he won a second term.
In 2000, I was finally allowed to vote in a presidential election. I was totally thrilled... my college roommates and I followed the election closely. It ended up being another landmark election, calling into question our very political process and whether or not we should continue the ancient practice of the electoral college. Many of else felt great disappointment as a president who has not won the popular vote was declared the winner because of electoral votes.
In 2004, I was living out in California and I got really involved in the political process, volunteering in voter registration drives and canvassing neighborhoods to make sure to get the vote out. I even travelled to Arizona with a group called Turn Arizona Blue. Even though my candidate lost, it was still so much fun to be so involved.
This year, in 2008, the election will be historic no matter which way it goes. EVERYONE needs to get out and cast a ballot. It's our responsiblity as Americans to vote and to make our voices heard!
In 1992, I watched even more closely, as history played out. For the first time, there was a major third party candidate. In the past four years we'd had a war and an economic downturn. Victory for the incumbent was not a guarantee. Bill Clinton defeated George Bush and Ross Perot to become president. In 1996, he won a second term.
In 2000, I was finally allowed to vote in a presidential election. I was totally thrilled... my college roommates and I followed the election closely. It ended up being another landmark election, calling into question our very political process and whether or not we should continue the ancient practice of the electoral college. Many of else felt great disappointment as a president who has not won the popular vote was declared the winner because of electoral votes.
In 2004, I was living out in California and I got really involved in the political process, volunteering in voter registration drives and canvassing neighborhoods to make sure to get the vote out. I even travelled to Arizona with a group called Turn Arizona Blue. Even though my candidate lost, it was still so much fun to be so involved.
This year, in 2008, the election will be historic no matter which way it goes. EVERYONE needs to get out and cast a ballot. It's our responsiblity as Americans to vote and to make our voices heard!
Monday, November 3, 2008
The Proposal
So, how did I decide to start the whole marriage adventure AGAIN, after all I was put through and my horrible experience the first time?
When Scott and I first started dating, I told him right off the bat that marriage was off the table EVER. There was no way on God's green Earth that I would put myself through the emotional roller coaster I perceived marriage to be. Fortunately, Scott agreed. I remember him saying that if he ever even considered getting married again, the girl would have to be VERY special.
After a few months of dating, Scott and I were having a late night conversation about how compatible we were, including how much we both love to dance. I blurted out, "See, I should have married you first!" Scott stopped talking and asked me to repeat myself, but I refused. How could I have mentioned the "M" word to him? That's when he took my hand and said, "I've thought about it too. I already know how I'll I propose." Although we never got any further into the marriage conversation on that particular night, it was just one more sign about deeply I was falling for Scott.
By Christmas of 2007, I just KNEW I was getting a ring. My parents, my sister, Lindsay and my brother in law, Chad, would all be in town for the holiday. Scott and I had been looking at rings together for a couple of months, and my birthday had already passed. It had to be Christmas, it just had to be.
Christmas morning we were surrounded by family. All of our children were there, my parents were there, my sister and her husband were there, my in-laws were all there. With all 18 people there opening gifts, it took awhile. Three hours later, when all packages were opened and stockings emptied, I still had a bare left ring finger. I guess I was visibly disappointed, because Scott said to me, "Honey, Christmas is too obvious."
One of our Christmas gifts from my parents was a long weekend in DC, all expenses paid, for both Lindsay and Chad and Scott and I, along with my parents. The six of us drove up together i my van the morning of the 29th of December and took up three rooms at a really nice Dupont Circle hotel. We planned to stay through New Year's Day, and had purchased tickets for a black tie dinner and dance cruise on New Year's Eve. (I love dressing up, I love dancing, I love eating, and I love going out in a group that includes my parents and my sister and Scott, so I was super excited.) Yet, as New Year's Day loomed, also my parents' and sister's departure date for Texas, I got a little depressed too. I had really hoped that my parents would be around when Scott proposed. They live so far, and I get to share so little of my day to day life with them, that I really wanted them present at that moment. It did not appear that I was going to get my wish.
Looking back on New Year's Eve, I should have seen the proposal coming from a mile away. That day, after lunch, Scott claimed a headache and said he wanted to go lay down. Chad, my brother in law, said he had to work. I was left to walk around with my mother and sister, which wasn't necessarily a bad thing. However, my sister IMMEDIATELY started asking me why I thought Scott had chosen not to propose over the holidays. I didn't have any answers, and told her sadly, that he must have just not been ready.
At 8pm, the six of us pulled into the parking lot of the Dandy Dinner Boat, which cruises along the Potomac River through the heart of DC. We were running late (a Kirsch family trait), so my sister and my mother and Scott and Chad jumped out of the van. I started to follow them, but my sister, Lindsay, stopped me and told me to stay with my dad and meet them inside. I thought it was a little strange, but I did what I was told. (I later found out that it was so Scott could meet with the maitre de and give him the ring.) When I entered the boat with my dad, Scott was off in the corner talking to a staff member, but I didn't really think that much of it.
A couple of hours later, the six of us were happily cruising with full bellies, as we had just finished our dinner. Our waiter appeared at our table carrying a single saucer, covered by a linen napkin. He set the saucer in front of me, explaining that he had forgotten to bring something out with my entree and disappeared. I looked at Scott and he was beaming.
The next thing I knew, Scott was on his knee next to me, holding a little ring box. He said, "Laura, make 2008, and the rest of my life, as special as you made my 2007. Will you marry me?" I will never forget those words for as long as I live. On cloud nine, I told him yes, we kissed, and celebrated the rest of the night.
When Scott and I first started dating, I told him right off the bat that marriage was off the table EVER. There was no way on God's green Earth that I would put myself through the emotional roller coaster I perceived marriage to be. Fortunately, Scott agreed. I remember him saying that if he ever even considered getting married again, the girl would have to be VERY special.
After a few months of dating, Scott and I were having a late night conversation about how compatible we were, including how much we both love to dance. I blurted out, "See, I should have married you first!" Scott stopped talking and asked me to repeat myself, but I refused. How could I have mentioned the "M" word to him? That's when he took my hand and said, "I've thought about it too. I already know how I'll I propose." Although we never got any further into the marriage conversation on that particular night, it was just one more sign about deeply I was falling for Scott.
By Christmas of 2007, I just KNEW I was getting a ring. My parents, my sister, Lindsay and my brother in law, Chad, would all be in town for the holiday. Scott and I had been looking at rings together for a couple of months, and my birthday had already passed. It had to be Christmas, it just had to be.
Christmas morning we were surrounded by family. All of our children were there, my parents were there, my sister and her husband were there, my in-laws were all there. With all 18 people there opening gifts, it took awhile. Three hours later, when all packages were opened and stockings emptied, I still had a bare left ring finger. I guess I was visibly disappointed, because Scott said to me, "Honey, Christmas is too obvious."
One of our Christmas gifts from my parents was a long weekend in DC, all expenses paid, for both Lindsay and Chad and Scott and I, along with my parents. The six of us drove up together i my van the morning of the 29th of December and took up three rooms at a really nice Dupont Circle hotel. We planned to stay through New Year's Day, and had purchased tickets for a black tie dinner and dance cruise on New Year's Eve. (I love dressing up, I love dancing, I love eating, and I love going out in a group that includes my parents and my sister and Scott, so I was super excited.) Yet, as New Year's Day loomed, also my parents' and sister's departure date for Texas, I got a little depressed too. I had really hoped that my parents would be around when Scott proposed. They live so far, and I get to share so little of my day to day life with them, that I really wanted them present at that moment. It did not appear that I was going to get my wish.
Looking back on New Year's Eve, I should have seen the proposal coming from a mile away. That day, after lunch, Scott claimed a headache and said he wanted to go lay down. Chad, my brother in law, said he had to work. I was left to walk around with my mother and sister, which wasn't necessarily a bad thing. However, my sister IMMEDIATELY started asking me why I thought Scott had chosen not to propose over the holidays. I didn't have any answers, and told her sadly, that he must have just not been ready.
At 8pm, the six of us pulled into the parking lot of the Dandy Dinner Boat, which cruises along the Potomac River through the heart of DC. We were running late (a Kirsch family trait), so my sister and my mother and Scott and Chad jumped out of the van. I started to follow them, but my sister, Lindsay, stopped me and told me to stay with my dad and meet them inside. I thought it was a little strange, but I did what I was told. (I later found out that it was so Scott could meet with the maitre de and give him the ring.) When I entered the boat with my dad, Scott was off in the corner talking to a staff member, but I didn't really think that much of it.
A couple of hours later, the six of us were happily cruising with full bellies, as we had just finished our dinner. Our waiter appeared at our table carrying a single saucer, covered by a linen napkin. He set the saucer in front of me, explaining that he had forgotten to bring something out with my entree and disappeared. I looked at Scott and he was beaming.
The next thing I knew, Scott was on his knee next to me, holding a little ring box. He said, "Laura, make 2008, and the rest of my life, as special as you made my 2007. Will you marry me?" I will never forget those words for as long as I live. On cloud nine, I told him yes, we kissed, and celebrated the rest of the night.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Meeting Scott
I became a 911 dispatcher for a neighboring county in early 2006. At the same time, I took a class and became a certified Emergency Medical Technician-Basic.
I entered the world of EMS with a vengeance. For one, nights spent volunteering on the ambulance were nights away from the pain of being home with my husband. As a dispatcher, at the end of the day, I truly felt like I had helped someone, in some small way. I dispatched full time for just over a year, and in that time, was thrown into the middle of some insane, some scary, some hilarious, some downright sad situations. At the volunteer rescue squad, I was nicknamed The Black Cloud. In EMS, that means that you are like a magnet for all the craziness. The squad's medic would not move from the bay for two days, and then I would come on duty and there would be four or five calls in a row. (Now that I am a part time dispatcher in another jurisdiction, I have re-earned my nickname. I keep my deputies busy all night long!) I loved staying busy and running all night long. My favorite days in dispatch were those when the phone rang and the radio chattered non-stop. I was a fast learner who was good at her job.
It was through friends in EMS that I met Scott. My friend Jeff, a volunteer paramedic and a career EMS administrator for the state, worked for the Peninsula EMS Council, which Scott was on the Board of Directors for. One night Jeff and I were out with a group of EMS people, and I spotted Scott. He was dancing and singing and had a huge smile and seemed to know EVERYONE in the room. I asked Jeff if he knew who "that guy" was. His response? "Who Scott? Sure... everyone knows Scott." Well I didn't. Jeff introduced us then, in a loud and crowded bar. We barely spoke two words to one another. That was it. I had no idea I had met my future husband.
The next day a large group of EMS folks met up for lunch. Scott was in that group, as well as I. When we got to the restaurant, Scott positioned himself at the table so that he was near me. (He denies this fact even today, but it is absolutely true! I have Jeff as a witness!) Being the friendly guy he is, he struck up a conversation right away. He asked me how I knew Jeff, where I worked, if I had children, and of course, if I was married. I explained I knew Jeff through our volunteer squad, that I was a dispatcher, that I had two children, and that I was newly separated, in the process of divorce. I learned Scott was divorced, had three children, and that he was the Chief of Emergency services for his jurisdiction, and one of the youngest emergency coordinators in the state. I also learned that his eyes twinkled when he smiled and that he was, like me, a Dallas Cowboys fan. By the end of lunch, I had been asked to dinner.
The rest is history. I took things slow with Scott in the beginning. I was afraid of relationships, determined never to get married again, and mostly terrified of being hurt by a man again. Of course, never say never!
I entered the world of EMS with a vengeance. For one, nights spent volunteering on the ambulance were nights away from the pain of being home with my husband. As a dispatcher, at the end of the day, I truly felt like I had helped someone, in some small way. I dispatched full time for just over a year, and in that time, was thrown into the middle of some insane, some scary, some hilarious, some downright sad situations. At the volunteer rescue squad, I was nicknamed The Black Cloud. In EMS, that means that you are like a magnet for all the craziness. The squad's medic would not move from the bay for two days, and then I would come on duty and there would be four or five calls in a row. (Now that I am a part time dispatcher in another jurisdiction, I have re-earned my nickname. I keep my deputies busy all night long!) I loved staying busy and running all night long. My favorite days in dispatch were those when the phone rang and the radio chattered non-stop. I was a fast learner who was good at her job.
It was through friends in EMS that I met Scott. My friend Jeff, a volunteer paramedic and a career EMS administrator for the state, worked for the Peninsula EMS Council, which Scott was on the Board of Directors for. One night Jeff and I were out with a group of EMS people, and I spotted Scott. He was dancing and singing and had a huge smile and seemed to know EVERYONE in the room. I asked Jeff if he knew who "that guy" was. His response? "Who Scott? Sure... everyone knows Scott." Well I didn't. Jeff introduced us then, in a loud and crowded bar. We barely spoke two words to one another. That was it. I had no idea I had met my future husband.
The next day a large group of EMS folks met up for lunch. Scott was in that group, as well as I. When we got to the restaurant, Scott positioned himself at the table so that he was near me. (He denies this fact even today, but it is absolutely true! I have Jeff as a witness!) Being the friendly guy he is, he struck up a conversation right away. He asked me how I knew Jeff, where I worked, if I had children, and of course, if I was married. I explained I knew Jeff through our volunteer squad, that I was a dispatcher, that I had two children, and that I was newly separated, in the process of divorce. I learned Scott was divorced, had three children, and that he was the Chief of Emergency services for his jurisdiction, and one of the youngest emergency coordinators in the state. I also learned that his eyes twinkled when he smiled and that he was, like me, a Dallas Cowboys fan. By the end of lunch, I had been asked to dinner.
The rest is history. I took things slow with Scott in the beginning. I was afraid of relationships, determined never to get married again, and mostly terrified of being hurt by a man again. Of course, never say never!
Friday, September 19, 2008
My first marriage... my intro to adulthood.
My life is really pretty ordinary by today's standards. I am 27 years old, mother of two, stepmother to three. We live in a very very very small town on the shores of the Chesapeake Bay and the Rappahannock River in eastern Virginia, in an area known as the Northern Neck. Being a city girl my entire life, small town life has had its ups and downs for me, and I'm sure that I will write more about that here.
I married the first time at the age of 20, for all the wrong reasons. My first husband and I had dysfunctional relationship from the getgo, and then I went and got pregnant. I felt desperate and lonely and so I married him. While I can look back and see our marriage was a big mistake, I can also see that I had not married him, I would not be the person I am today, and I would not have my second child, my son Colton. It is also because of my ex husband that I moved to Virginia, so I can credit my first marriage to leading me to my second, as weird as that is! After we got married, my first husband began drinking too much. He was emotionally abusive almost all the time. The things he said and did to play with my mind are too painful to write about here. He was and is a master at mind games. He was physically abusive sporadically, and fortunately, never enough to cause permanent damage. He controlled me by not allowing me to have my own money. He attempted to make me completely dependent on him to survive. In August of 2006, I had a huge wake up call, ironically, in marriage counselling, and told him I was done. I had never felt so liberated in my entire life. Many times in the past, I had threatened divorce. I always went back to him, usually via one of his mind games. I just sooo wanted to believe every promise and overture he made to me. This time though, I KNEW I was done. I knew nothing he said was going to change my mind.
I would not have made it without my parents. For all of the years of my marriage, I had kept most of what was happening to myself. I had always been taught not to air my dirty laundry and to keep family matters private. I thought going to my mother or father with my problems would be like whining at them. My divorce came as a big shock to them, until they begin to fully realize what I had dealt with. While I was going through it, my parents, and my wonderful sister, stood by me and supported me and made me see it was all going to be okay.
I married the first time at the age of 20, for all the wrong reasons. My first husband and I had dysfunctional relationship from the getgo, and then I went and got pregnant. I felt desperate and lonely and so I married him. While I can look back and see our marriage was a big mistake, I can also see that I had not married him, I would not be the person I am today, and I would not have my second child, my son Colton. It is also because of my ex husband that I moved to Virginia, so I can credit my first marriage to leading me to my second, as weird as that is! After we got married, my first husband began drinking too much. He was emotionally abusive almost all the time. The things he said and did to play with my mind are too painful to write about here. He was and is a master at mind games. He was physically abusive sporadically, and fortunately, never enough to cause permanent damage. He controlled me by not allowing me to have my own money. He attempted to make me completely dependent on him to survive. In August of 2006, I had a huge wake up call, ironically, in marriage counselling, and told him I was done. I had never felt so liberated in my entire life. Many times in the past, I had threatened divorce. I always went back to him, usually via one of his mind games. I just sooo wanted to believe every promise and overture he made to me. This time though, I KNEW I was done. I knew nothing he said was going to change my mind.
I would not have made it without my parents. For all of the years of my marriage, I had kept most of what was happening to myself. I had always been taught not to air my dirty laundry and to keep family matters private. I thought going to my mother or father with my problems would be like whining at them. My divorce came as a big shock to them, until they begin to fully realize what I had dealt with. While I was going through it, my parents, and my wonderful sister, stood by me and supported me and made me see it was all going to be okay.
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